The Sexuality Trap, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, closeness, love, and well-being .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a possible partner great post to read is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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